Unctuous Rump

by Unctuous Rump

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released June 24, 2016

All songs by Unctuous Rump

Ethan, Michael, Paul

Additional help from Ian, Ryan, and Emili

Recorded May-July 2015
Produced by Unctuous Rump and Ryan Stewart
Mixed by Ryan Stewart
Additional mixing by Michael Groome
Mastered by Andrew Garver
Artwork by Michael Groome



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Unctuous Rump Los Angeles, California

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Track Name: Moment of Zen For the Rebirth of Rodman
I need a libido baby, you got what I needo, baby
I need a libido libido
Spray it, girl, just don’t miss – Neutrogena
So as you guys know a wonderful band called _______ is gonna be taking the stage next
And they are
So shout out to the extroverts

(A timpani, plural for timpanis, is the tuba of the drum family. You need a certain mallet to rock one. In the high arts, we refer to this lumber as a "timpani stick" or "timpani mallet." You need two hands to play them.)
Track Name: The Extroverts
(A timpani, plural for timpanis, is the tuba of the drum family. You need a certain mallet to rock one. In the high arts, we refer to this lumber as a "timpani stick" or "timpani mallet." You need two hands to play them.)

Shout out to the extroverts
Through my musty windowpane
I spot remnants of friends
Dreaming I was one of them
I’m into smelling salts
My homie has got a pepper stain down the drain
He shits and it’s a song
They eat it up over at Mu Phi Epsilon
So shout out to the extroverts
I am a pool, I am a pool player

(Uh hey, Paul, we’re gonna have Michael play drums on this section.
Who’s Michael?)

Daddy Day Care
I’ve got my father’s eyes
I know exactly how you feel all the time
I penetrate the pie
I’m self aware that looking good is my only crime
So shout out to the extroverts
Big banana bros and flirts
My babe loves her frozen ‘gurt
Shout out to the extroverts
I am a sooth, I am a soothsayer

(As a music production officer, what I really wanna know is: can you lay it back?)
(But what I really wanna know is: are you experienced?)

I kissed my dog goodnight
Just like love, he has no conscious of wrong and right
I pick apart the fleas
I exemplify the concept of you and me

(Cool mints)
Track Name: Brim

Floorboard loves the feel of foot
The feet have the runs, they trip
It’s a shame when your body is filth
It’s a shame when you shatter your hip and you spill
Sweetheart, I love it when you spill
Go back in your closet
Go back and put those sheets on, babe
Spill some more
Subsidies, pregnancy
As I understood, it’s there to make you feel good
Hey, in this case the nurse was the first
Shripped him of his medicine like some pudding god with selfish cream
I’d absorb it all through the funnel feed
Broadcasted oinal insurgence
I’d be more likely to cope with detergent
Call the Red Guards ‘cus I think it’s urgent
Subsidies, pregnancy
We’re better off trying than never knowing what it’s like

We owe it to ourselves and no one else
Our public image is the only thing we value
We button up, we pamper, and we flex
Premarital sex
I’ve got morals, I’ve got posture
I’ve got a foot in the door to be a doctor
Premarital sex
Ooo I’m so bored, I’m so bored
Nobody plays with me anymore, hey
Track Name: Taxidermy
(I suppose it could have turned into a normal hobby like taxidermy)

My mentor provides the nourishment of tremendous fluff
Each morning he indulges himself with making certain I am stuffed
Every morning another leg, and he helps with the hooks
He says it’s destined
My belly sags from too many intestines
I’m the taxidermy animal you know
You sewed me up with the slimy stuff and it shows
You pervert pinched your cobwebs to my beak
You tweaked my muscles wrong until I peaked
Your tiny fish are groping at my veins
Explain the bloody tissues that I stained
Glorious protrusion of a limb dangles menacingly at my chin
Forcing the layers together he lays his shaky gelatin
The working class rents me off to provide their putrid cleansing
I suck on tails like noodles
My master calls me his shampoodle

(What sound does a pig make? What sound does a dog make?
What sound does a dog make? What sound does a frog make?)

Love me, hate me, hurt me
Tear me, rip me, kill me
Now coexist, ugly duckling for a fist
Bloated buck heads in my lungs
Eyes penetrated by tongues
Freak show pet loses hope
Every tip’s secreting soap
Track Name: Quitter
Please admit to me if you’re hitting me I’m not the only one
And even If I’m wasting spit doesn’t mean that I should quit
Please accept from me the path I chose and to those occasions I rose
It’s plain to see I need something more than just what you suppose
Flexibility only goes so far but they tell me not to worry
Some might say that it might get better but the better better hurry
I don’t want to write about a sweater so the better better hurry

(Yeah you got it goin’ on girl, yeah you got it goin’ on)

If I could muster something nice:
You’re less annoying than a splinter caught in my wrist
If I could gag you with a fist then I could make it through the winter
We’ll see how that goes
You finger wagged and thumbed your nose
What do you know, I’ve become bitter
Not that you care
I’ll change the lesson and I swear we will see just who’s the quitter
Now isn’t that fair
You may not believe it’s wrong that we’ve abandoned all that’s done
And just because we always grieve doesn’t mean that you can leave
You might like to see me fall apart and never again start
It’s clear to me you’ll never get past when I wasn’t smart
Stressed out and feeling like I’m already gone
At least I can say I tried
What’s next – my body or the computer desk?
And the damage coincides
It’s a red flag – the feeling when my body drops out
And the things that I can break
Stressed out and feeling like I’m already gone
Very little I can take
Please admit to me if you’re hitting me I’m not the only one
And just because we’re wasting spit doesn’t mean that we should quit
Please cooperate communicate an answer to my grope
Cus when you’re pushing away, I’m dragging by a rope
Track Name: Leon Gilrosha
…The shaft is typically made from hardwood or bamboo but may also be made from aluminum or petrol fiber. The head of the stick can be constructed from a number of different materials, though felt wrapped around a wood core is the most common. Other core materials include compressed felt, cork, and leather, and other wrap materials include chamois siomahc. Unwrapped sticks with heads of wood, felt, plaid, and leather are also common. Wood sticks are used as a special effect—specifically requested by composers as early as the Romantic era—and in authentic performances of Baroque music.
How are?.......
Notable examples of Baroque timpani mallet works include Scarlinio's Montezuma Concerto also on Bb, Op. 38 as well as who's forgetting the 2nd left hand mallet sonata by Jean-Claudio Mitsubishi.
Reduce yourself no more
Reduce yourself – explore!
It's still Vick-tiimee, right? In, the LATE March of 2009, a Vic Firth talent scout spotted an unusual site. Leon Gilrosha's Big Swingin' Gordudlindee Singin' Group.
Reduce yourself no more
Reduce yourself – explore!
Unctuous Rump
Photovoltaic cell
(I hope you die with my wife – Hoo! Hoo!)
Shark boy and lava girl
Straight to hell
(I hope you die with my wife – Hoo! Hoo!)
A lobotomy scrapes your prefrontal cortex
Just as we are pressured to follow the norm
(I hope you die with my wife – Hoo! Hoo!)
The industry is an incestuous vortex
And Unctuous Rump will now conform
(You’re miles away from death now, sister)
Hey, that was from Fred Head published in Cherubs Kiss Weekly
You’re a tiny man, and I’m to blame
My dirty wife put you to shame
And what the fuck is my last name?
Staccato are made by intense sweat shop labor cutting the felt heads off the stick, leaving only the wood rod. The Red Hot Chilis have helped popularize staccato mallets in their newest album A Red Hanky Girl Does Good on their single "Gorgon's Retreat." Listen to Chad Smith go! Other examples include Bayrobi's hit "Skin Flap" and the retro "Don't Worry (I'm Nervous)" by Ogar's Son.
I need a libido baby, you got what I needo, baby
I need a libido libido
Track Name: Pamper
Just a second while I’m getting ready
It shouldn’t take too long
It’s not an obstacle, it’s an obsession
It’s just an object of my possession – pamper
Something else has gotta be going on in there
Uh, I coulda told you that, I coulda told you
Yeah, I coulda told you that he’s getting pretty
Pamper, yeah pamper!
I keep the clippers in the closet
There’s the tweezers and a spare – a spare!
And when you lay right down the only thing you’ll hear is “heh”
Pamper, yeah pamper!
The only thing you’ll hear is “heh”
Uh, hey guys, just a little bit of shameless self-promotion
I’m getting so fed up with my reflection
Yeah, I’m about to appear in public so if you could at least acknowledge me?
And there’s no way to ignore it
He told me what I could be and I hated him for it
Pamper – I never wanted any of this
I wanted you gone, I wanted it for me
Pamper – I never wanted any of this
I wanted you gone, and I’m sorry
Spray it girl, just don’t miss – Neutrogena!
I wanna judge you how you spray – Aveeno: nourish and shine!
Spay me baby, just don’t miss – Charmin Ultra!
Soap scum soap scum soap scum soap scum
Just a sec – uh
Track Name: Party Song for the Family
It’s a goody day – a goody day where many play!
All excited for the celebration
Violence? Maybe
Open your present: it’s a new PlayStation
I hope when we move the new neighbors are cool
Crazy Aunt Missy has a new cocker spaniel
I opened him up and found a new Nathaniel
There’s a few things I really fucking hate
And I think I’m hot and bothered now
Destination party
I got the new Taylor Swift mp3
It’s a small talk generation not worth fixing at this rate
There’s a few things that I really fucking hate
(Such as) singing loudly
(Such as) dirty dishies
(Such as) indoor Frisbee
(Such as) not say “please”
(Such as) leather wearing
(Such as) converse junkies
(Such as) hairy greasy
(Such as) sucking ciggies
I just want so badly to hook up (Pornhub)
Track Name: Diet of Worms
I can’t help it
Impossible to stand
Don’t seem to have any command
Uncontrollable sitting is a symptom
A symptom explaining to the body that they must be released
Here on this table she sits
And here they transfer, so gorgeous and greased
Sitting symptom, symptom, export body, now they’re pushing a ton
A clump of yellow-brown
A beautiful swarm of cannibalism and procreation
I can’t help it if I lose my charm
Lost my diet when I saw the scar
Like the spread of grownups taking turns,
I can’t help it if you eat my worms
Sitting symptom, symptom, export body now they’re starting to float
When a mouth is introduced to a bite of worms, it gets caught in the throat
If you do not use a plate

(Mr. Cordroy, Mr. Cordroy, one more thing! Uh – more bass in my monitor?)

Like infection spreading thirsty germs,
Nothing will remain but stench and worms
A child sits at unfortunate spot
His jaws completely drenched with the repulsive taste of famine
Routinely spreads out his lunch
Inside of it all the little annelids float